Faith not fear (yes that is corny)

WHEW!!!!!!! I ain’t gonna front on this one y’all. My life is a grand mess these days. For the past two weeks, I’ve been putting out fire after fire. It’s been sunshine for two minutes then a thunderstorm for two hours. I couldn’t even enjoy my blessed birthday. I’ve been working extremely hard taking every writing gig I can get. I’ve been sleeping even less than my usual five hours and struggling to get through the days. We have had a slew of family issues hit us all at once . And to add a cherry to my sundae, my husband was furloughed along with the other 800K workers under the Feds.

But I’m not writing a long list of the things that have hurt been hurting me. I’m letting you know that I AM OK. Really I am. I had a very serious conversation with my mother-in-love about the future of our family. After pouring out a gallon of concerns from her heart, she asked me what I thought (so rare that people ask me what I think). You know what I said? “Ma. This may all seem pretty hopeless. And I may sound like a fool. But I really believe that God’s got this. I’m not worried at all.” That came out of my mouth. ME. The non-church going, non-Bible verse knowing, sinner who should be damned to hell by now for all the dirt I’ve done in my life. However, I just have a lot of faith right now. And with every trial or fire that gets slammed into my path, my faith just multiplies. I’m just not worried.

I’ve been praying ceaselessly for a few things lately. And I really believe God hears me and will answer every prayer. In fact, I was praying so hard on the way to work this week that I left my car keys in the ignition and left the car on ALL DAY LONG. (My battery was drained but I got a jump and it’s fine now. See how God works?)

Anyway, I just wanted to share my message with you guys for what it’s worth. The message is hold on. I’m telling you it’s worth it to just hold on. I face utter hell at least three days a week and I’m not broken. My heart has been so broken and I’ve cried more this past week than I have in the last six months and I’m still standing. From the outside looking in my life is a hopeless piece of crap worthy of a few suicide notes and I ain’t going anywhere. It’s all going to work out fine. Faith not fear. That’s what it’s about. Keep going my friends.

Thanks for reading!


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