Things that make me shake my head: Animals on deck

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You see this mess!!! I went to my kitchen sink just now to wash my hands, look out the window and saw this. WTF??? This ain’t no April’s Fool. This is a BIG ASS raccoon on my deck getting ready to climb over the rail and chill like my deck is some kinda outdoor lounge. Is he crazy??

People, I confess that I am not an animal lover. This is what I HATE about living in the suburbs. If it’s not this then it’s deer strolling across my lawn like their on the trail of tears, or a fox slithering around the neighborhood, or a toad sitting on my front porch on summer nights like he pays the mortgage in this joint or the rabbit that doesn’t heed my warning to stay away before I buy a bebe gun or some screaming animal in the woods at night. CREEPY! How is a city girl supposed to rest easy in a place like this?

I love my home. I really do. It has everything I prayed for when we were house hunting. But I cannot deal with animals. Isn’t there something I can sprinkle around my house to make them stay away? You know, some kinda animal-be-gone organic, floral scented to us but smells like crap to animals stuff to spray? UUGGGHH!!!!! God help me!!

I guess that’s how we roll out here in da E. Cott. I will be tipping to my car ever so carefully today thanks to this monster. Good damn morning!

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