I wasn’t feeling well last night. I missed the annual Christmas party that my publishing company hosts (Dangit!!!). So I decided to go to bed a little early and read a magazine; a pleasure that I rarely get to indulge in. One article I read that was especially interesting was about lessons your mother never taught you. My mother taught me a lot but nothing on this list. I started thinking about my own list of lessons that I didn’t learn early on and wish I had. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far.
- How to spot a real friend in less than 10 good deeds. My friendship and loyalty is tough to gain but so worth it. I can’t always tell what a person’s motives are. I often question if a person is being a good friend or an opportunist. It takes quite a few good deeds on their part for me to see that they genuinely care about me and want to be a friend. It’s even more difficult to decipher in this world of virtual relationships. I’m working on trusting my instincts more.
- How to recover from heartache. I am still bitter from the events of this fall. It’s been more emotionally draining than I can ever put into words and I don’t know where to go from here. I have lost so much faith in love. Something tells me that’s not how it’s supposed to be when you get your heart broken. I wish I knew how to heal from all of this but I don’t. My best guess is to move on and don’t make other people suffer for one man’s mistakes. Maybe that is the healing.
- How to enjoy being alone. This is one from the article and it’s something I have discovered as I grow older. I am quite the social butterfly in real life. I make nice with a lot of people because that’s how I grow as a person. But I am really starting to enjoy being left alone. I think clearer and deeper about things, write better, and my mood is much lighter when I’m rejoin others. I get interrupted way too much. I’m gonna have to try to put the ‘do not disturb’ sign on more often.
- How to distinguish between God’s voice and the voice of the other. Sometimes I really believe God is telling me something. I follow that voice. Then it blows up into what it really is; a trick of the devil. I admire my friends that are Bible beaters and seem to always hear His voice clearly. I guess if I studied His word more often I would get a better understanding too.
- Men have just as many insecurities as women do. In the past I thought guys were so tough and resilient. They lose a job and move on to something else. Their team loses the game and they have a drink at the bar. Their woman cheats on them and they have a new girlfriend by the next week. Little did I know until recent years that men do indeed fall apart. They have trouble expressing themselves (
something I hatebut I’m willing to be patient). They compare themselves to other guys. They succumb to pressure, lament over regrets and have weaknesses galore. The difference that I notice is that men are not so open to sharing all of their faults. Women over share with all that talking that we do. Men..not so much.
- How to let it go. Surrendering is something I don’t do well because I am one stubborn Bushwoman. Yes I have control issues to a certain point. The sad part is that in many cases all I need to do is let things go and I would feel so much better. Bad arguments, mistakes at work or home, missed opportunities can sometimes be as fresh in my mind as the day it happened. I’ll try to let go starting with this talking point.
- How fun it is to run. Ooooooh! If only I knew then what I know now. I love to run. This goes along with the whole alone time thing. I’ve never considered myself to be an athlete and I still don’t. I don’t have the aptitude or attitude for competitive sports. But running is something that I can do. I’ve been in many races and every one of them is so exciting. Whether I’m alone or with a group it feels great. And it keeps me healthy. I’ve walked past enough caskets in my lifetime to truly value good health.
- Sex is more than your anatomy. (Disclaimer: Mom and Dad if you are reading this blog post feel free to skip to #9) Ok. First of all I will claim that I like sex. I’m grown and that’s all there is to it. In the past I used to think that if a man was visually appealing and er…uhh…well endowed that intercourse with him would be amazing. Not anymore. Marriage has taught me that if I’m not feeling it in my head I won’t be feeling it anywhere else. Sex is oh so mental. If I’m in a bad mood, or worried or feeling stressed, or don’t trust a man I could lay there all day and be totally unimpressed. I need to feel safe in his presence and believe that he feels safe with me. I need to feel that he has let his guard down with me like I have with him. It’s comforting to know that he thinks the world of me, is on my side, and will support me when in need. He still needs to posses the right tools and know how to use them. Handling my mental is only half the battle. How’s that for foreplay?
- How to shop for a career. You know what they say about hindsight. It’s totally true. Believe it or not I followed a boy into education. It was the one good decision I ever made with that knucklehead. But I didn’t really shop careers before going to college. I find other careers so fascinating. I’m also discovering my talents as I get older. Guess I’m a late bloomer. I could have easily been a chef or a mortician or a music teacher had I known then what I know now. I just didn’t get the right guidance.
- How to pursue my interests reasonably. When I get a hold of something I work at it until I am exhausted. Then I do it again and again and again until I burn out. Not good. I want it all right now and that’s dangerous. I need to slow down a bit. I have many varied interests and goals from reading selected novels, to traveling, to having a true rich bitch shopping spree, to writing my dream article and having it published in a major magazine or newspaper. I’m going to get to every single one of them. But I have to make a plan and get my blessings one by one.
Right now I’m interested in getting some more sleep so I’m done good people. Thanks for reading!